Chinese people confused me...until I fell head over heels in love!

Chinese people don’t understand you?  Shift “culture clash” to harmonious Asian fusion and avoid cross-cultural blunders that make you feel foolish!  Here's how...

Dear friend,

“The Middle Kingdom” of China has seduced you with its current preeminence as a cultural power in the world.  Something about this “exotic” place draws you:

  • the language that twists your tongue in unimaginable verbal gymnastics. 
  • the otherness of the culture that seems to be the opposite of the hamburger haven here.
  • the call to adventure to escape the banality of a life numbing job
  • the coolness of watching kung fu movies and wanting to have moves to bring the guys/chicks to their knees.

Yet the one thing that has completely captivated you into wanting to know everything Chinese and risking your savings, your sanity, and your spirit-YOU MET THE ONE! YOU FOUND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE!

You found someone who really made your head spin.  He/She is seems so different than who you normally date back home.  You feel like you have walked into a whole new world and everything about your life seems fresh, vibrant and exciting.  Meeting someone with a completely different worldview ignites your interest to understand their world and opens you up to all kinds of adventures.

Yet in the excitement of knowing your beloved, you encounter some unexpected detours that throw you for a tailspin.  Dating and living with someone from a completely cultural context has put you face to face with some cultural revolutions that you did not expect.  Do any of these scenarios sound familiar:

  1. His/her friends and family point blank ask shockingly rude questions that you would never ask here in the US like, “How much money do you make? So, how many girlfriends/boyfriends do you have now?”
  2. Your partner becomes the Dragon Lady or Fu Man Chu when you disagree about money because they just don’t spend like it as if tomorrow didn’t exist and freak out when you splurge on you or them to enjoy yourself.
  3. You feel as though stone faced lying has become a national pastime to cover up feelings or facing something uncomfortable and no matter how you do your best to understand, you slam into barriers of silence bigger than the Great Wall.
  4. You have no idea what to say to your partner’s mother when she serves her prize dish of chicken feet and dried pork pudding.  You know that if you decline tasting this delicacy that she has poured hours to cook could cause an outbreak of chaos worse than yellow fever spreading.

If any of these culture clashes seem all too familiar to you,
My New Chinese Love can help you navigate
Through any cultural maze and misunderstanding
So that any challenge can work in your favor.

Before you encountered Mr/Ms. Right, you probably wished you had a primer on how to deal with the inevitable cultural differences in dealing with the Chinese.  Trust me, I was in your shoes once before.

The first time I went to China, I didn’t have a clue about Chinese people, Chinese language or Chinese culture.  Everything was new.

When you enter a country, find out its taboos.
- Ancient Chinese Proverb

Before that big move overseas, I plowed through a pile of books on China and all things Chinese.  And after all that reading, after meeting hundreds of Chinese people and after living in China for guessed it, I still didn’t have a clue!  I mastered the art of surviving using only “Hello,” “Goodbye” and “Check, please.”

So what changed?

I fell in love.

Chinese symbol for love

To make a long journey short...I met a wonderful Chinese woman.  We started seeing each other, then we married and now we raise a small family together.

And you can bet your bamboo that my brain got jam-packed full of appreciation for Chinese people and culture along the way.  I even speak enough Mandarin to hold a meaningful conversation with someone who doesn't understand a word of English.

So what is this website?  This is the site I wish I had access to way before I set foot in the Middle Kingdom.

Whether you’re going to China on business, teaching, studying, or just for fun - keep reading for practical, hands-on tips, advice and information to make the most of your experience in China.

Living in China gave me the tools to live in two worlds and the freedom so that now I travel back and forth between China and Canada so that my children can have the best of East and West.  Marrying my Chinese wife and being exposed to different ways of thinking and being has opened my mind to new possibilities of how live and engage in the world.

My New Chinese Love is your resource to find help about learning the Chinese language, communicate more effectively with Chinese people, let go of cultural stereotypes, and deal with customs and traditions that may bamboozle you.  Please share your stories of love and success with our readership here and let your love for your Chinese partner and Chinese culture open doors to live a rich and fulfilling life.

What are you waiting for? Scroll down to get started...

photo of Jeff & Lisa, intercultural couple

Your “péngyǒu” (friend) in China,

Jia Feng signature in Chinese symbols

Start here...

For even more information, updates and resources, claim your free subscription to Chinese Love Notes.  My goal is to offer you value in each issue.  I usually send you an issue around 6 times per year - more frequently around the major Chinese holidays.  And I'll remind you about those unusual holidays that fall on different dates each year - like Chinese Valentine's Day


First Name


Keep reading and you can discover...

Chinese characters


Learn Chinese.

Sure, reading is tough - but speaking might be a lot easier than you expect.  Tutoring, schools and online programs are all here to help you.

Chinese fan


Appreciate Chinese Culture.

With all the food, music, ancient legends and modern superstars - there is plenty to appreciate!

Chinese bride


Show Your Appreciation.

Whether it's using words, smiles, emotions or gifts - this is the fun part!

My New Chinese Love

           - understanding Chinese people, language and culture.

Chinese symbol for love

We’re all about empowering you to shift “culture clash” into a sweet, smooth, symphonic synthesis.

Chinese symbol for love

Love for “My New Chinese Love”

“I love this site; I can freely express what I feel and what’s on my mind. I could ask things that bother me a lot. I thank you Victoria for your kind responses and the other people behind this triumphant site.”
-Kiel, Philippines

“Love the site.  I have spent the last two hours looking at cultural questions and answers! I am pretty much fluent in Chinese but that does not mean I am fluent in Chinese culture!”
-Matt, Los Angeles, California

“The Internet is full of surprises; the least of which is how it connects people from different cultures, backgrounds, races, geographic location, etc.  Your passion for Chinese culture can be seen easily in your site...Allow me to say bravo to you and the people who have helped you in making this site possible.”
-Hans, Philippines

“That is a wonderful site which you have created...”
-Kritika, Teacher of Chinese Language in New Delhi, India

“It's a good thing that there's a site for Chinese related stuff.  Congratulations on your website...More luck for the both of you & to the other staff.”
-Ms.  Tan, Philippines

“I always come across your site every time I search for answers about how to understand a Chinese man.”
-Cheney, Philippines

“I love your site.  Last summer I went to China and played Liar's Dice.  Coming back to America, I didn't know what it was called till I looked on your site.”
-Guest, USA

“Thanks to you both I appreciate the quick response...Your site is awesome!!!”
-Mark, Florida

“I want to thank you, Victoria and the rest of the My New Chinese Love team and it's supporters for all the help and support you have provided for us.”
-Jin Feng, Beijing

“This is the first time I came across this site and I felt that it might help me very much.”
-xyz, India

“I really enjoy your website :) “
-Sophie, Beijing

“Best wishes for success in your important endeavor!”
-Meir, Tel Aviv

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