Chinese Terms of Endearment

by Wen
(Oklahoma City, OK)

My Chinese girlfriend lived in the US for one year now. I commonly call her by various terms of endearment - baby, dear, even “Kitty Cat” if being playful. However, she only calls me by my first name.

I am wondering if I am missing something here.

Is it not culturally acceptable for her to call me pet names or should I not be calling her pet names?

Perhaps she is not really that interested in me. What do you think?

I am learning the Chinese culture and one thing I have learned is there are some things you do not ask.

By the way, I am American.



Victoria's Answer:

Nihao Wen,

Not everyone likes to call their beloved by a nickname.

I guess your girlfriend is like me. I always call my husband by his full name.

In fact, I never call him “Laogong” (husband) or “honey”...only when I am angry with him, then I call him “zhu” (pig) .

If you want to know whether your Chinese girlfriend really loves you or not, you can pay more attention to daily life with her.

For instance, how does she react when she meets you by chance? What's her facial expression when she gets presents you prepared especially for her....?

Best regards,

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