Quiet Chinese Guy Wants to Break Up?

by Giouli

I've been chatting with a Chinese guy since last January. I'm a Greek girl. At the beginning we chatted once in a while, but in the last 2 months we chat every day.

We both felt very close. I planned to visit him in Shanghai this summer.

Then four days ago he sent this message:

I'm sorry
My days my bad mood
I don't want to talk
Just want to stay quiet
i love you!

Is this the polite Chinese way to say let's break up...? Or he is facing problems with his new work or family?

I don't know what to do because I'm really worried if he is ok!

I answered that email saying:

Ok I understand, be well.
I will think of you. I love you too.

But I am really confused, worried and I think I am stupid...
What to do? Wait? Give him time or delete all...?

Thanks in advance for your answer.

Yours Faithfully,
Giouli

Victoria's Answer:

Hi Giouli,

There is no need to feel confused. Every human being will be in bad mood one day or another.

Sometimes when I am feeling blue, I don't want to talk either.

My point of view is to wait. A few days later you could send him your greetings or call him directly to see if he is better or not.

When a man is feeling blue, don't do anything. Just let him be alone, especially a Chinese man. They would prefer to be on their own.

Best regards,

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Quiet Chinese Guy Wants to Break Up?

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don't worry much.. :)
by: lenka

hi. i got into a similar situation as well.
Back then, i was in a relationship with a chinese guy. we don't see each other often but we communicate almost everyday. Up until that FATEful day, i'd be so happy to hear from him and i always looked forward to talking to him at nights because he works (busy as a bee) in daytime...
Then suddenly the communication just stopped. although he came by our office one time, no talking or whatsoever, in the two weeks that passed, i heard nothing from him... i felt trashed! really!
My advantage was, i was also in communication with his helper. i took the courage to ask the helper what's going on and so i learned that there's a problem. according to the helper, he pushed stocks all over the store and he cried over something... and sometime during that 14 days of silence from him, he asked his helper to tell me that he's got nothing much to say at that time. So i just let him be...
Because of that, i found these blogs about China and the Chinese people and their relationships... At the very least, i read that Silence from Chinese guys at certain times or at problematic times, is normal... it's because of pride and their upbringing...
Hey atleast he's told you that he just doesn't want to talk NOW... and there's that I LOVE YOU.
On my part, as i said, after 14 days of silence, he finally talked to me and asked for my forgiveness.. something just came up and he didnt want me to be part of the problem...
And to this day, i still get hurt and miss him terribly when he goes on hiatus again.. but i don't worry that much. AND i tell him what's going on... i open up to him.. i take risks in telling him how i feel... just so he knows and in the hopes that he too will be more open to me...♥

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