Stuck on my Chinese ex-boyfriend

It's about my ex-chinese-boyfriend...we had a complicated relationship this past year. Once he broke up and some months after came together again. Because we work in the same mall, I saw him everyday. But we just greeted and not really spoke.

This went on for about 5 months. During these months, I text-messaged him (because I didn't dare ask him directly) why suddenly we don't contact anymore like before, but he never answered.

Suddenly on Christmas, he called me. He asked me to meet him at a cafe.

He told me that he is going back to China for three months to see his family. He told me that he doesn't have a girlfriend in China and he is not ready for marriage yet.

He just broke up with me.

On QQ about 2 months ago, a friend of his added me (their last contact was about 3 years ago). His friend and I chatted like friends, but his friend wanted more then friendship from me, but not I.

My ex-bf asked me about this friend. He recommended his friend to me, telling me he is earnest and that I should marry him... But my ex also doesn't want to break contact with me, he still wants to be friends?!

I rejected the friendship. I told him that I can't be friends with him because he hurt me a lot. He still insists on having friendship with me.

I was shocked that he recommended his friend to me, which means that he never loved me. He answered me that he wants to see me happy. But I can't be happy if he finds another girl while I'm still friends with him, so a friendship is impossible.

Is he testing me?! I'm really confused....




Victoria's Answer:

Nihao,

He no longer loves you!

He recommends his friend to you. I would like to suggest it was your ex who asked his friend to add you to his contact list in the first place.

Why? Because if you start a new relationship, then he wouldn't feel sorry for you because he broke up with you.

I guess he might have already got a new girlfriend, probably he is going to visit her when he goes back to China, even though he stated there wasn't one in China.

Stop contact with your ex from now on and delete him from your contacts.

You can't be friends any more. If you keep in contact with him, you will be the one to feel sad and the sadness will accompany you for a long time. This is not good for your future relationship, and probably it would make you lose your future Mr. Right when he comes to you.

Best regards,



Another question:

I still have one question:

Before he went back to China, he wanted to be friends with me. If I needed something, he asked me to tell him and no matter what he could help me.

Because we European and Chinese are different, I still don’t understand why he still wants to be in my life.

When he comes back from China, he will work in another city but not so far from here. He insists on helping me also to find another job for me near him.

Once I asked him why he wants to be friends, he told me: "The more friends, the better."

What do you think about it? Even not all Chinese people are the same, please help me understand his mind.



More from Victoria

Hi,

Happy to hear from you again!

Most males would prefer their ex to remain friends after they break up.

But for females, there is almost no possibility to be friends with her ex.

For you, what you need to do is to forget him and start anticipating your new love to come.

Don't waste time on him. It is impossible for him to be with you again. To keep trying to find out what he is thinking would be a waste of time and keep you sad.

Let him go, and remember there are lots of better guys waiting for you. Be happy.

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