What gift of jewelry to send my chinese girl penpal

by Gordon
(Canada)

My Chinese “penpal” is a wonderful, wise and lovely divorced woman with one older child. I have two children. She is very poor and has to work hard just to get by. She has never asked me for anything in the few months we have e-mailed and gotten to know each other.

She is so wise about love I feel like she is my teacher, despite my being 11 yrs older. I think I have fallen in love despite all the difficulties (never met, language (we use Google Translator), culture, network problems, etc). I wish to send her a gift at Christmas time to show my love for her.

I want to send her a picture book of my native country, Canada, so that she can get a sense of it as we talk about her moving here.

I also want to send her a gift of jewelry.

What kind of jewelry do you think may be appropriate? This is not an engagement - that may happen later after Christmas when I meet her for the first time if all goes well.

As I said, she is very poor. I don't want to overwhelm her suddenly, but want to send something she will treasure and symbolize what we have found together.

I am thinking perhaps a fine gold/silver necklace with entwined hearts. Would diamonds be too ostentatious?

P.S. I am thinking of mailing this undeclared as I don't know if jewelry is allowed to be sent via post to China - any comment?




Victoria's Answer:

Hi Gordon,

I think it is okay for you to send her a picture book of Canada as a Christmas gift.

If you send her a gift of jewelry (like gold or diamonds), I am not sure if she would be scared or not.

What's more, you mentioned that she is divorced with one older child and she is poor. Usually those people who are poor are also very sensitive. If you send her such a precious gift she could feel hurt.

My point of view is to send her jewelry after you meet each other. But for this first time, don't send her gifts like diamonds. You can send her a necklace or bracelet made of silver or platinum. It would be easier for her to accept. When you propose to her, then you can send her a diamond ring.

Best regards,







Photo courtesy of Becky Stern.