Why does my Chinese lover hold back?

Does he love me or his wife?

My Chinese boyfriend is now back in my area after being away for a while. As I said before, we've emailed each other several times while he was away. Whenever I ask him when he would be coming back, he would brush the question off with either “one more month” or “I don't know.”

He called me this week. The following day I got an email that said his email would no longer work. He never said that it was because he was coming back to the area.

Today I got a phone call from him telling me that he was back in town.

I don't understand why he couldn't have told me that before. Obviously he knew, but for some reason did not want to share that information with me at the time.

Granted, I am very happy that he called me and this was one of the first times that we actually talked on the phone without him rushing off. Before ending the conversation he said that he hopes to see me soon and that he loves me.

I also found out that my Chinese lover is married to an older woman which supposedly was for his citizenship. He has been married for quite some time.

Right now I'm very confused. I feel that he really loves me but I don't know what I should do with the whole situation. Please...any thoughts or suggestions?

Thanks,
Tracy

Victoria's Answer:

Hi Tracy,

So glad to hear from you again!

I am wondering if your Chinese lover has already divorced before he got together with you?

And are you sure he married his wife just for citizenship?

If he got married just for citizenship plus he says he loves you when he is not a single man — I have to question his nature.

At best, his honor is doubtful, and you need to think carefully if he is worth your pure true love.

Of course, I hope he was forced to married that older woman for one reason or another which he had no choice. I hope he hasn't done anything to hurt his wife and that he does love you. Then, you can consider whether to go further with him.

You need to SEE and FEEL by yourself and make right decision.

Best regards,

Victoria

Photo courtesy of FaceMePLS.

Comments for
Why does my Chinese lover hold back?

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Trouble
by: Heather Cate, Spiritual Coach

I don't know if it's true, but my grandmother always says the the Chinese character for Trouble is two women under one roof.

Maybe there's no trouble if you're not under the same roof.

But if you want to be with a man who honors you, find a new one.

You're not comfortable with this situation, regardless of your feelings for him, or you wouldn't have written in.

If you still feel deeply tied to him even though you want better, do a cord-cutting exercise. It will help you disentangle from your relationship with him. Try this one and leave a comment there letting me know if it worked for you. blog.peacockandpaisley.com/cord-cutting-meditation-for-ann/2008/12/16/

Blessings!

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