Why won't she let me touch her hand?

by Gert
(Belgium)

She says she doesn't have feelings for me...what could I do to still win her heart?

I met my Chinese girlfriend two months ago, but I had to fly home shortly thereafter. Since

we chat or call everyday,
she said she liked me,
she says she misses me,
she wanted to see me again...

...I thought everything went well.

Then I got the news that I had to come back to China for work. She was happy.

I told her I would come back to her city to be with her for one week. She said she was looking forward to it and missing me.

I asked her to look for a hotel close to her home for me. I also said I want to stay with her (she has her own apartment).

Now I'm back for a week (staying in a hotel), and she has been very reluctant towards me. She won't even let me touch her hand.

We've been out together, with her brother (nephew) and with her friends. I thought things were going well.

But when I ask how she feels about our relationship, she says she doesn't have feelings for me (meaning she is not "in love"?).

I have the feeling that she is holding me off — rejecting me.

What could I do to still win her heart?

Thanks,
Gert

Victoria's Answer:

Hello Gert,

Glad to hear from you again!

I guess she was scared when you said you wanted to stay with her. You mentioned she has her own apartment in your question.

Probably she thought you were in a hurry. As you said, you have known each other for a very short time. That's why she is very reluctant towards you and won't even let you touch her hand.

My point of view is to try your best to explain your feelings to her. Let her know that you are in love with her, but not her body.

In China, some people probably haven't had their first kiss even after being in love with each other for over half a year.

When you read this, I think you will understand why she changed a lot when you came back to China again.

Wish you good luck!

Best regards,

Victoria

Photo courtesy of Prayoga D. Widyanto.

Comments for
Why won't she let me touch her hand?

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Girlfriend problems
by: Jeff

Hi Gert,

No matter what you do, you can't control another person. What I've found helps in situation like this, is to take control of the only thing I really have complete control over - my own thoughts about her and about our relationship.

Here's a quick process that only takes a few minutes a day and will help you feel better. It's worked wonders for my relationships and my marriage...

What you can do when you have girlfriend problems...

Want recover my ex girlfriend
by: Romeo

We were together for half year and even we had fights we always back together because we love each other, this time I hurted her badly and was the one who break up with her because it was a extreme situation of anger from my side and treat her bad. I was stupid and from the day after I started to apologize for a whole week saying I wont hurt her again I will change and asking her one last time to let me show her my love and feelings are true for her, even we talk a couple of times seems like she give up on my love and she never reply messages or callings. we break up more than 2 weeks and Iam afraid of lost her forever, because I really love her and I think she still keep a little of love in her heart, what can I do to recover her love? if she dont wanna talk or see me, and she never pick up phone or reply messages, should I wait for a while? or what can I do to recover her love and make her trust in me again.

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